Balik Kampong.....

“I suspected, however, that I wasn’t homesick for anything I would find at home when I returned. The longing was for what I wouldn’t find: the past and all the people and places there were lost to me. — Alice Steinbach

It is now 7.43 am. Yesterday evening, while I was having coffee with friends from KL....the wonderful Dr. Kamsiah and her better half, Jemi.... I received a message from KL

"Salam ....H can return asap".

My heart and mind flew across the sea and I found myself 6000km away in KL. The first thoughts in my mind were of the people that I will not see......for they are lost to me. My father, my mother, and my brother Mann have left my life. They are, I hope, in a better place away from the trials and tribulations of life that I must still endure. All I can now do for them is to go to their final resting place and say a doa for them and try to live the rest of my life the best way I can....to respect their memory.

And I will also miss the past. Time spent with cousins and friends who are also no more with me.

I am also sure that in the twelve years that I have been away from KL, much would have changed. The physical KL will change, and, I suspect, also, the people of KL.

The past decade has been tumultuous - too much confusion, too much excitement, and too much disorder that has changed our nation and our people for the worse rather than for the better. All this I will face with apprehension and, I hope, with a quiet acceptance, of the things I cannot change and a commitment to try and change what I can, also quietly.

And above all else, I will have to decide what I will do in KL. For this, I will have friends and time, to help me make up my mind. As a dear friend asked me two days ago:

Yes, I feel apprehension about what KL has now become after over a decade of change and turmoil, but at 75, I should be able to deal with it. I will want to meet with those of you who want to meet with me...because you read what I write...and....I write because you guys read what I write. We will make some time to do that.

Meantime, be good, do good, and be nice to one another.