The Letter....

Below is the letter by Datchinamurthy’s girlfriend in full, which has been edited for language and brevity:

“I wish this was not my last letter to you. The visit today was very pleasant. Thank you for your time. We all know when they sent you to (that) cell, they would kill you one day. But when the moment comes, it is something we have never felt before. I'm sure it’s the same for everyone at home. When I saw the letter of execution with your name as the subject... I am still searching for the right words to explain how exactly I felt. Seeing you after two years of border closure, I didn’t anticipate it would be my last visit before they execute you. I had to prepare myself before seeing you so that I don’t choke when we met. You looked calm and well prepared. I don’t know how I would be if I was in your position. Eleven years (have passed) with your case - visits, lawyers, trial, appeal, judgment and the disappointments. My mind goes back to 2007 when I first met you. I didn’t know we would come this far. In the eyes of the law, you are guilty. But we know you as a person, which made me still be here hoping for something good to happen to you. The two-hour visit today will be in my memory as long as I’m alive. I thank God for giving me this moment to talk to you and to make peace with our past. It is not easy to let you go like this. It is not easy. For nearly 10 years, I’ve given my best to your case, but I didn’t succeed to bring any changes to your case or its sentence. I know you had hopes for me. But I failed. I’m sorry for failing you. I’m sorry! On many occasions, I have been arrogant and egoistic in my conversations with you. Now my heart is questioning where that arrogance and egoistical mind has gone. I just can’t believe that all of this is happening for real. After seeing you today, I feel peace inside me. I have sought an apology from you. It’s a great relief for me. Being with you for all these years and an end to it without seeking pardon from you would have left me struggling all my life. I can’t imagine living such a life. If your soul was to be around here once you’re gone, please communicate with me. Tell me through any medium, I will be waiting. Talk to me somehow. Tell me you are in a better state afterlife. Tell me you are okay and you have got your freedom. Tell me that I do not need to worry. Tell me that it wasn’t painful when the rope chokes you. I will wait. Everything keeps flashing in my mind, the laughs, the jokes, the pleasant moments. It is devastating to lose someone we love in a brutal way like this, I cannot believe we were discussing your funeral and burial with you. I wish you get the freedom that this world didn’t permit. I wish you will be released from the struggle between life and death. I hope you will enter the world of God. Living in this world is tough - work, earning, family, kids and parents. - it is not easy. If at all you have to go first, we will meet when my time comes. Thank you for all your time with me. Thank you for all the good memories. Thank you for making me a stronger person, a better person. You should know that I will cherish our moments till my last breath. Thank you. Thank you for coming into my life. I will wait.

Goodbye, with love.”